There is something people fail to understand about what drives us. It runs deeper than a mere wanting. It is a need. This is something people cannot comprehend, the intensity and the force of the need, the thing that will never let us stop, the monster inside us. If you do not live with the monster, you can never know. You will never know.
I hope you never come to know. I hope you never face the day when you cannot trick the monster anymore.
The monster is out to kill and it will win in the end, because the monster, like the house, always wins. We talked about this once, the monster, maybe more than once. When you know that your days are numbered, tick tock, and the monster will always be there, you must live every moment to the fullest. You cannot compromise yourself because there is no turning the clock back. You cannot back down because you may not get up again tomorrow. You cannot let things go because it will be forever. You cannot stop fighting, not for a minute, not one fucking minute, because what if the monster wins in the next moment? What will people be left with?
When you fight the monster, when you carry the monster inside of you, the dragon in your belly, you will go, and go, and go, until you stop, because you have no choice. It is compulsion. It is urgency. It is fierce and angry.
If you do not live with the monster, if you have not followed in its slimy tracks, if you have not seen what the monster does to people, hope you never know.
But I know what the sky left.
Today I am remembering Adrian Burkey, who is no longer alive to remember himself.