Have there ever been times in your life when you’ve really wished a scientist was around? I know I certainly have occasional need for a scientist, like when I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder about things of a scientific bent, such as “man, that thing with the eye on Fringe, I’ve read about stuff like that in science-fiction novels, but can you really do that? Because it would be totally awesome if you could.”

So, I have assembled a team of bona fide scientists (with real science degrees!) to answer science-related questions on a periodic basis. They, in turn, have agreed to pass on questions they can’t answer to other scientists who can, in one big long chain of science awesomeness.The frequency of the column depends on their free time, and your submissions.

You see, the thing is, this is a feature which requires reader cooperation. I need questions from you, readers, for inclusion in the “Ask a Scientist” column. I may come up with a few on my own, but I think you guys may come up with neater ones. I’m really excited about it, myself, because I think it’s going to be supercool.

The rules are pretty basic: if you have a science-related question, add it to the comments here (or to the comments in future “Ask a Scientist” posts). The scientists reserve the right to not answer questions that they think are not interesting, and many of them are most intrigued by answering questions which might actually require some thought and research. All branches of the sciences are fair game, so fire away!

Californians! Tomorrow is California Coastal Cleanup Day, a state-wide beach cleanup event which pretty much guarantees fun times and garbage. There are drop-in spots all over the state (find yours here). Just show up in sturdy shoes (and with the regular complement of clothes) at 9:00 AM and the local coordinators will provide you with the rest. Yay clean beaches.

Closing price $2.01.

So, uh, who wants to recommend a new bank for me?

I had a fair amount of trouble tracking down the 2008 Presidential debate schedule and the networks the debates were airing on, so I thought I would consolidate my information here for the benefit of those of my readers who plan to watch the debates. I highly recommend watching the debates, by the way, since they are one of the few times we get to see politicians exactly as they are, composing off-the-cuff answers to questions and engaging with their opponents directly.

Also, you can invent some great drinking games to go with the debates. Although if you go with an “every time McCain tells a blatant lie,” I would have a doctor standing by in case of alcohol poisoning, if I were you.

So, here we go:

• 26 September, 8:00pm (PBS): domestic policy debate, University of Mississippi, Oxford, Mississippi. (Wanna go in person?)
• 2 October, 8:00pm (PBS): Vice-Presidential debate, Washington University, St. Louis, Missouri. (Wanna go in person?)
• 7 October, 8:00pm (NBC): town hall format debate, Belmont University, Nashville, Tennessee. (Wanna go in person?)
• 15 October, 9:00pm (CBS): foreign policy debate, Hofstra University, Hempstead, New York. (Wanna go in person?)

In addition to the networks listed as the moderators/hosts, the major networks (ABC, CNN, etc) will be getting rebroadcasting rights for the debates. There does seem to be a lack of consensus on starting time; some are going for 8:00, while others are pushing the debates back to 9:00. And, of course, for those with more patience, I’m sure clips and footage will be up on YouTube and the major networks in the days following.

I find that debates, much like concerts, are best enjoyed with a large group, as long as everyone settles down for the especially relevant bits. So, why not hold a debate party? That way you also have a reservoir of snacks to throw at the television when someone says something especially stupid.

They don’t actually get less obnoxious the more they bark. In fact, they might be accused of moving me to a murderous rage. I’m just sayin’. I’m just hoping this is a visting dog, not a permanent acquisition, or I might be moved to Take Steps.

Get ready for a blockbuster Photo Friday, kids!

Don’t be one.

I’m organizing an exquisite corpse. Email me (meloukhia at gmail dot com) by 5pm PST if you want in!

this ain’t livin’ turns three years old today, which is kind of neat. Or at least I think so, I don’t know about the rest of you. What started as a whim has definitely outgrown my expectations, and outlived many of the blagorgs rattling about on the Internet. And for both 2006 and 2007, I posted every day, which I think is rather a feat; we’re also going strong for every day in 2008. So here’s a retrospect of notable posts from the last year:

Last August, I did lots of things, including musing about figs.

In September, I went to the Paul Bunyan Days Parade, and took two bad pictures with my cellphone.

October found me in the coffeehouse, talking about fat.

The chilly gray November sky brought a camera!

With December and the close of the year, I announced The Book Project.

The January storm made me very cranky.

In February, I wrote about the bolts of the Molybos carousel.

The Henry Makepeace serial started in March.

In April, warnings about bad plastics led me to reminisce about my Nalgene.

May heralded the arrival of the Book Club of the Damned selection.

California caught fire in June. I took a cool picture of the sunrise.

This July, a fart was heard ’round the world.

Here’s to another year of adventuring together. I also want to give a special shout-out to some of my readers, because although I love you all, I love some of you more than others, and that’s just how it works. Although I would love to see more of you commenting, of course. Let’s make the fourth year of this ain’t livin’ the year of the de-lurk.

Vicki has made some excellent comments, recommended some really good books, and sent a whole stack of reading material. I can’t wait to read her novel, and I may have to give her a special reader prize or something. For Special Services to the Blog.

Tristan has also made some good book recommendations, as well as some less good recommendations via the Chicago book club. And our late-night debates have fueled hours of productive blograntings.

Brendan always leaves delightfully argumentative comments which are well thought out and sometimes so convincing that I change my mind. Sometimes.

Thanks to Suzy, Tallie, Bronwyn, Haddock, Kris, F, Baxt, David, Kenyon, and Ideasinca for their book recommendations. Suzy, XUP, Meridith, Lindsay, Gowan, and Dr. Regina all comment regularly (and interestingly) enough to merit a special mention.

Gentle readers, the time has come once again to give a shout out for reader participation. I am working on an article on caring for your own dead, and I would like to hear from any and all of you who have dealt with some aspect of the death care process, whether it’s holding an entire funeral at home and burying on your property, or just performing some of the tasks associated with the funeral.

If you’ve dealt with funerary paperwork like death certificates, disposition permits, and Pete knows what else, I want to hear about it. If you’ve fought with the Health Department to protect your right to care for your own dead, I want to hear about that too. I’d also love to hear from people who are interested in death care and want to know more, and I especially want to hear from readers who have cared for their own dead in California.

In addition to hearing about the bureaucratic side of your experience, if you’re willing to share, I would also be interested in the emotional side; how you felt about the process, how other family members/friends dealt with it, and so on. Furthermore, if you have tips and suggestions for others going through the same experience, what would they be?

I’d also love to hear from people who work with hospice organizations or groups which offer death care and assistance with home funerals. If you work for a hospice, do your organization offer death care? Do you wish you did more? Would your clients and their families benefit from classes on caring for their own dead? Have you ever taken a death care/death midwifery class? Are you a death doula/midwife?

Email meloukhia at gmail dot com with your thoughts, and feel free to spread the word.