Lost: What They Died For

Content note: This post contains spoilers through Lost season six, episode 16, ‘What They Died For.’ To skip it, pop on over to today’s post, ‘Meet the Mendocino Spineflower,’ all about conservation and conflicts between plants and people.

With a title like this one, I thought that this episode might, uhm, actually explain what they died for, but no.

You know what, Lost?

Fuck you.

Fuck you so much. Seriously. I have stuck with you. I have defended you. People trash you all the time and I go ‘you know, it’s cool if you don’t like Lost, but I do, and I’m really glad I’ve hung in there, because it’s an interesting and dynamic and complex show. It’s a show with Problems, for sure, but, you know. I like it. I do.’ And I feel like you just took that and threw it in my face. You took all of the trust and faith I put in you and basically flushed it down a toilet with the last few episodes because what the fuck is this shit, Lost.

I really cannot see how you could possibly make up for this in the epic finale event[1. Can I just rant about how annoyed I am that it is on a Sunday? Because I don’t have television, so I watch on Hulu the next day. Monday is my Very Busy Work Day. That means I can’t watch Lost until Monday night, which means that I basically cannot be on the Internet at all on Monday, because people will, as they do, be talking about the finale. This is really annoying because it means that I am going to have a pile of crap to catch up on on Monday night, right around the time I am usually planning on going to bed.]. Because, really, where do you go from here? You are steadily annihilating every character who is not a white person; we’re down to Miles and Hurley. You are steadily annihilating every woman; we’re down to Kate. And you are fulfilling Jack’s personal conviction that he is God, which is, like, one of my least favourite things about the show, just as Jack is one of my least favourite characters, and I keep hoping, hey, maybe he will get caught up in the killin’, but nope, he’s Jack, of course not.

And for no good reason. That is what is pissing me off here. You’re acting like there’s some greater purpose here, like all of these deaths mean something, but they don’t. Really, they’re just clearing the way for White Douchebag Dude to become the guardian of the Island or what the fuck ever. Bloodbaths as plot device? Pointless deaths? So overdone, Lost. So. Overdone. Really, all that you are showing me at this point is that you really had no idea what you were doing with this show because you took this awesome, complex, interesting thing and you are steadily shredding it like I do with napkins when I get nervous and think no one is looking, except that the entire world is looking and we all see what you are doing with that napkin, buddy.

I wanted to like this episode because it was like Old Home Week/Full Circle Time. There were sly nods and references every which way and it felt like the story was being pulled up tight like a string bag. Everything referenced itself and other events. But I was too busy being pissed off to squeal with delight every time I noticed another reference, let alone start compiling a list. I stared sullenly at the screen while Jacob informed us that being a mother is the ultimate fulfillment, the completing moment in every woman’s life. I grumbled to myself when Locke ‘let go’ and told us he was ready to be fixed. I seethed with irritation when Richard, who is supposedly impossible to kill, was given a one second death scene. I actually started twitching as characters used each other’s daughters as pawns. (Why that makes me twitch I don’t know since Lost basically views women as set dressing, evidently, unless Kate is going to come from behind and kick some serious ass in the finale.)

I wasn’t even terribly surprised to see Ben being a fucker, I mean, what else is new. Endless loops inside of each other, right? And it’s infuriating because, well, there are some seriously good actors up in this thing and they really aren’t being given much of an opportunity to shine. It’s almost like an insult. Here, you stuck with us this long, now we’re going to waste you pointlessly. I’m really curious to see what the actors say during the postmortem, although I am aware that no actor is going to really give an honest opinion.

So, here we are. Two and a half hours to go, Lost. I thought I would dread the end because I would be sad it was ending, but now I dread it because I am afraid of what else you are going to manage to dredge up.