Comments on: Beyond the Binary

By: genderbitch

genderbitch — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:56:23 +0000

Considering how pedantic and intellectual I can be, I don’t think I mind sounding pompous to spare folk being outed. XD

By: meloukhia

meloukhia — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:54:52 +0000

Well, I think it’s important to note that people can and should use whichever pronouns they feel comfortable with and like (especially for self id). It gets a little trickier when it comes to pronouns people ask people to use; I for example would prefer that people call me “ou” and not “they” or “hir” or “sie” etc, but I am not going to clutch my pearls or anything if someone isn’t sure which pronoun to use and refers to me as “sie.” Actually, I might clutch my pearls if someone called me “they/them” but that’s a residual kneejerk reaction which I’m sure will stop happening eventually.

By: Shiyiya

Shiyiya — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:32:37 +0000

Wow, a precedent

(I’ve linked to my boyfriend who has an irrational hate of all gender-neutral pronouns that aren’t they/them/their.)

I may start using it when I have occasion to gender-neutral. If I remember.

By: meloukhia

meloukhia — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:42:15 +0000

I use "ou" primarily because I like it, and I dislike (personally) the invented gender neutral pronouns (and singular "they"). [ETA: I mean "I dislike using them/having them applied to me," not "I become horrendously upset every time I see them" or something. Since there has been confusion about this in the past.] "Ou" actually has a basis and history in the English language. I've written about ou in the past and again more recently. This does not, of course, stop everyone from reading it as a typo.

By: Shiyiya

Shiyiya — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:37:33 +0000

I feel weird for not having realised that you were nonbinary. *blinks* I need to pay more attention, it seems.

Is there a reason you use ou? I’m curious, as there are SO MANY different things people use for gender-neutral pronouns and it gets confusing x.x (the first few times I saw ‘ou’, I thought it was a typo of ‘you’, heh.)

By: meloukhia

meloukhia — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:17:12 +0000

I don’t mind at all! I’m actually working on a names and pronouns post, and one of the things I would like to bring up there is that avoiding pronoun use altogether is a good way to avoid gendering or outing folks. It does sometimes require awkward circumlocutions (and sometimes rather pompous sentence structures), but that’s a price we pay for having a highly gendered language.

By: genderbitch

genderbitch — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 19:08:56 +0000

I’ve actually known a few agendered folk to also refer to themselves as neutrois. I guess it’s a french word for neutral but it seems to have really spread around, at least on WiG (a trans support forum that specifically welcomes and aids nonbinaries)

I tend to avoid pronouns when I can, literally weaving my sentences around indirect referral and names, especially when I’m not sure what someone would prefer or the situation is complicated (like a trans person who doesn’t want to be outed by proper pronoun use). It’s easier than depending on my notoriously bad memory.

Do you mind that I usually avoid using pronouns at all when I’m talking about you as I work on absorbing ou into my lexicon?