Given the growing magnitude of the depression economic crisis, I may have to add an “economy” category. I’ve been putting it off for several months now in the optimism that either I would stop having something to say about it, or that our all-powerful government would magically pull its head out of its rump and actually get about dealing with it. Alas, neither of these seems to be the case, so I may have to give in and make an economy category.

But not today.

Today, I want to talk to you about the obvious solution to the economic crisis, as suggested by My Father the Party Animal. His solution is simply to send a $10,000 cheque to every tax-paying American, and to skip the bank bailout (which we oppose) and the auto bailout (which we also oppose). His logic (and I’m with him here) is that there’s no way America can’t win if the government sends out stimulus checks which are actually worth something, unlike the pathetic $600 offering earlier this year.

In scenario one, someone gets a check and promptly spends the money, thereby triggering economic growth. In scenario two, someone gets a check and promptly sticks it in savings, thereby adding liquidity to the bank and increasing the bank’s ability to make loans and move capital around. Either way, money gets injected into the American economy on multiple levels, thereby substantially improving our economic situation. As an alternative, I propose forgiving all tax burdens under $10,000 in April, which will mean that a lot of people will get plump, juicy refund cheques.

As it stands, the only people who will benefit from the government’s “assistance” are the people who always benefit, the wealthy and powerful who seem to control everything in this country. The rest of us, the everyday Americans, we’re going to be just as fucked as we were before, while reading stupid articles in The New York Times in which rich people whine about having to “cut costs” and dazzle us with their discoveries of things like coupons! And dollar stores! In fact, the government’s response thus far has seemed to focus on protecting the interests of the top 1%, with nary a care to the 99% of us flailing around and trying to make do.

I am watching my government doing a series of increasingly stupid things, and, more astoundingly, I’m watching the media support these stupid decisions, instead of evaluating them critically, and it’s really starting to get frustrating. I feel immensely powerless right now as I see the government getting us into huge amounts of debt which I and other Americans my age are going to be paying off for the rest of our lives. I’m watching the sums we’ve paid into Social Security vanish before my very eyes, and I’m watching people regard this with total complacency, or shocking ignorance, I’m not sure which. The whole point of electing people to make decisions for us is getting smart people into office so that they can make well-considered choices which benefit America as a whole, but apparently our elected officials missed that memo.

Congestion pricing for San Francisco? What a brilliant idea. Oh, except for the low-income people who can’t afford to live in San Francisco, but do have jobs there, and can’t use the public transit system because it is so poorly organized.

Maintaining a DNA database of people who have never been convicted of crimes has just been deemed a violation of human rights in Europe.

Here’s a list of the alleged “top 10 books of 2008” from the New York Times. I note that I have read a grand total of one of them. I don’t really have a high opinion of the books the literary world is creaming over at the moment.

A British reviewer totally shreds Twilight, and manages to point out that Buffy is cooler than Bella along the way.

Are you aware that Mexico is in the throes of a brutal drug war?

A major fertility rights bill just passed in Australia.

Happiness is contagious? HAPPINESS IS AN STD!

The phone problem, which I have been fighting the phone company for over a year over? The intermittent connectivity? The slow connection speeds?

It took the technician all of three minutes to replace my corroded phone jack and (hopefully) entirely resolve the problem. Now, why couldn’t the phone company have sent a technician out when I first started complaining? More importantly, the technician gave me the local number, so that I can just call them directly instead of going through the Phone Menu of Doom.

This case really illustrates that local service providers who work for huge corps are often really friendly, helpful, and generally cool, it’s just that you never get to see them because the evil corporation likes to keep a huge wall between us and them.