It Occurs to Me
That if I was a sea cucumber, I could vomit out my stomach and enfold your obnoxious dog whole before swallowing it, and no one would ever know. I wonder if this is why I feel a deep visceral writhing every time your fucking dog starts barking, because my stomach secretly wishes that I was a sea cucumber so that we could resolve this problem.
These are the things I think about when I am not working because your fucking dog has been barking continuously for what feels like all eternity. Please do not ask me to explain the logic of the sea cucumber argument, because I am currently incapable of rational thought, thanks to all of the fucking barking.
Let’s say it again: fuck.
Tags: reflections