this ain't livin'

Why I Hate the Bus

What I wanted to say:

Dear MTA,

Seriously, where the FUCK was the 5:30 bus? First the goddamn 4:30 bus was late and some nasty woman was coughing repeatedly onto the back of my head without covering her mouth, and the lateness was really really late, forcing me to run around Harvest like a crazed person, rudely cutting people off in the produce section and pissing off an old lady near the eggs, and then I SAT IN THE FUCKING COLD-ASS MOTHERFUCKING RAIN for 30 minutes, waiting for a bus WHICH NEVER CAME.

When one of your drivers finally pulled up and I asked where the 5:30 bus was, he pretended that he didn’t know what I was talking about, and told me that the 6:05 bus was “right on time.” Well, you know what? IT FUCKING WAS NOT. I sat in the cold and wet while my poorly wrapped halibut leaked ALL OVER THE BOTTOM OF MY FUCKING GROCERY BAG, thank you, now I have halibut-flavored STRAWBERRIES, and then the fucking 6:05 came at like 6:15, and THAT DRIVER pretended he had no idea about the 5:30 bus, and then he tried to skip my stop because it’s at the end of the route and out of the way, so I had to make him go back, and he got all huffy about it.

WELL FUCK THAT SHIT, MTA. Fuck it to hell. Fuck you and your stupid fucking pathetic excuse for a bus system. How can you possibly expect people to support you when your buses don’t show up, your drivers are rude, your routes blow, and your schedules suck. Seriously. Don’t you fucking pretend the 5:30 bus doesn’t exist, I SEE IT ON YOUR SHITTY SCHEDULE, and I have this whole little scheme where I take the 4:30, run around Harvest, grab the 5:30, and get home by six. I like that scheme. I like that something which should take 45 minutes, tops, takes me AN HOUR AND A HALF, but I really, really, really like it WHEN I AM FORCED TO SIT IN THE GODDAMN RAIN FOR HALF AN HOUR WAITING ON YOUR STUPID FUCKING BUS.

Had I known that the 5:30 bus just wasn’t going to show up, maybe I could have completed my shopping at a leisurely pace, said hello to all the people I pretended not to see, and not been rude to that poor old lady by the eggs.

Welcome this aboard, you fucks.

-A fucking infuriated customer

What I said:

Dear MTA,

What happened to the 5:30 bus north from the Boatyard on Monday 6 October? I routinely take a bus from the Boatyard at 5:30 during the week, but this time it never came, and it made me sad, because I ended up sitting in the cold rain for half an hour. Additionally, the 6:05 bus was also late, so really it was more like 45 minutes sitting in the cold rain feeling generally miserable while my groceries got sodden.

Are you not doing that run any more? Because that would be a real bummer.

Thanks,

s.e. smith

Tags: fort bragg