At the risk of confusing Google even more, I had to share some of these search terms with you, because they are too funny not to spread to the world at large. This, my friends, is why I like looking through my server logs:

“cost to transport dead body by air” -I don’t know the answer to this one, but I’ll bet you’d qualify for a bereavement fare.

“fort bragg glass jellyfish fire” -Uhm. What?

“picture of stink in the book not in the book” -I don’t know how one would photograph stink, exactly, whether it was in a book or not.

“low water pressure glen park san francisco” -I know this may come as a shock, but I am actually not the San Francisco Department of Public Works.

“dog vomit brown odor how to clean” -Someone with synesthesia has a sick dog, apparently.

“coconut porn” -Why? Seriously. WHY?

“pillow feathers girls” -Once again, what?

“have sex in san francisco” -Don’t do it. It’s a trap!

“pippis longstocking fort bragg” -They sell awesome socks, it’s true.

“behaving like an adult” -Boy, did you come to the wrong place.

“is twenty dollars a good tip at spas” -It depends on how much you paid for the massage. And how good the massage was, of course.

Naturally, no list of searches is complete without “nefarious pickle,” and I am pleased to see that I am back at the top of the Google results for that particular term. Which must be really annoying for the porn site of the same name, as well as all of the people who innocently click the link looking for porn and get pictures of cheesemaking instead.