Dear Neighbor With the Chainsaw

I hate you.

Seriously. Please stop. With the chainsawing. I don’t know what you are chainsawing, because there are no trees in close proximity to my house, and you are definitely in close proximity to my house. The only thing I can think of is that you are bucking up timber for someone, which I think would classify as a light industrial business, which I think means that I would be justified in reporting you to the authorities for being as annoying as all hell.

Please don’t make me do that. I know that most of you hate me already because I don’t like things like your loud music, your screaming children, and your horrible dogs, and I am pretty vociferous about that. And that’s cool, really, I am mean I understand, I am not a very likable person.

But the chainsawing needs to stop. It has been going on for three days now. I’m beginning to wonder if you are conducting a social experiment to see how long it takes to drive me to the point of murder.

Sincerely,

s.e. smith