Fitting In

This post is about a topic dear to my heart: bras.

Men, you may want to go elsewhere.

Ladies, are you wearing the right bra? I know it’s starting to sound cliched, but a large number of women are wearing the wrong sized bra. Not only is this insanely uncomfortable, it’s also not very good for your ta-tas. There are also a lot of bra styles out there, to meet a wide variety of needs, and most stores which sell bras will also measure you for them. If you’re like me and you don’t want to venture out into the world, here’s how to measure for a bra (in American sizes…Euro readers can add their own sizing tips below):

You will need a flexible measuring tape. You will also need a nude lady, and ideally an assistant to do the measuring so that the nude lady can have her arms at her side in a relaxed position. (If assistants and nude ladies do not mix in your world, the nude lady can wear a bra, but ideally measuring should never be done over clothing.)

Start by measuring directly under your breasts, where a bra would normally go. Add five. If you end up with an odd number, round up. This is your band size. Supposedly you are only supposed to add three when your measurement is over 33, but I have not found this to be true.

You can confirm your band size by measuring your upper chest, above the ta-tas. Amazingly, it should equal your band size. It’s magic. I don’t know why this works.

Now, measure the fullest part of your chest. Use the difference between your band size and this measure to figure out your cup size. One inch is A, two inches is B, etc etc.

Now that you have established your bra size, please get rid of bras that don’t fit you. And please get rid of old bras. Don’t let your ill-fitting bras hang around for rainy days or what have you. Get rid of them. The thing about bras is that they are made from stretchy fabric. This means that as you wear them, they lose elasticity, and that makes them fit crappily And your ta-tas deserve something better. Sorry, I’ll stop saying ta-tas.

The thing that sparked this post is that I just ordered a couple of Bali bras from Macy’s, because they were having a buy two, get one free sale. Now, I’ve noticed that all Bali bras on the Macy’s site are just plain on sale, and I cannot recommend these bras enough.* If you are a fuller figured lady, please consider buying a Bali bra, just for me. They are insanely comfortable, and they are designed realistically for the larger, er, breast. As in, the cups are the size of real breasts, and the bras look and feel great. Their other bras are on sale too, but I can’t make any personal recommendations. Except for Wacoal. Wacoal bras are my homies.

Also, I really hate underwires, and Bali makes underwire free bras that are fully supportive and very comfortable. If you have been struggling with underwires, as I have…Bali will save your life. And your novel will win a Pulitzer as soon as you start wearing Bali bras. Seriously!

For the record, here’s what I ordered:

Bali Downtime Wireless Bra: This bra is, you know, a bra. No, it’s really comfortable, it has a wide strap with three hook and eyes, so it’s nice and stable, and the cups are soft and comfy and minimizing of nippliness. I really like the fabric, it feels wickable and breathable and all that crap, and it’s comfortable. It also has a low profile under tees and other close fitting garments, if this is a concern for you.

Bali Cotton Double Support Wireless Bra: I really liked having a cotton option, because I wanted to be able to throw my bra in the washer. As it turns out, all of the bras I ordered can be laundered in a washer (although I would recommend using a lingerie bag or at least a pillowcase anyway). At any rate, it’s soft, comfy, and a great lounging bra. Unfortunately, the color choices kind of suck. But hey. Who cares, it’s comfortable.

Bali Double Support Spa Closure Wire-Free Bra: I’m wearing this bra right now, actually. I like the full coverage, which is nice for wearing under tees and the like, and the pattern is subtle and sexy. While the bra itself is hardly an “oooh baby baby” bra, it’s comfortable, it looks good…and the “gel pad” in the ad actually kicks ass. I wish that all bras had gel pads. You know that feeling when your bra clasps are digging into your back? Yeah, I’m not feeling that. I hope the gel pad holds up with wear, though.

Bras are expensive, which is pretty shitty. So I’m stoked to see Macys putting Bali on sale, because it’s a good brand, and I really like it. And if you’re not fuller figured, they make a lot of cute bras in smaller sizes as well; all of the bras I purchased are available from 34-42, with cups from A to DD. Macys also has a full on plus sized line; if those bras are half as nice as these are, they’re a steal.

Just a note, if you’re dithering: the sale is only on until tomorrow, so get cracking! Holiday time is comfy boobs time!

*Macys is in no way shape or form involved with the content of this post. I just like their bras. A lot.