Soothing Care

This entry is about chub rub.If the thought of chub rub causes you to recoil in quiet horror, or you have no idea what “chub rub” means, you should probably go peruse the adventures category or something.

The thing about being, well, aerodynamically curvaceous, is that one experiences chub rub. In fact, most women over a size eight probably do, and I would warrant that some men are familiar with the phenomenon as well. Chub rub is generally confined to that area between the thighs which rubs together, but it can also strike other regions of the body. Especially in hot weather, it can get unbearable. Everyone has various techniques for coping with it, such as wearing compression shorts under regular clothes, or dusting the thigh region with baby powder to prevent chafing.

Peaches recently turned me onto something much neater and more efficient, however. It’s called Soothing Care and it’s made by the Monistat people. I’m not really a product endorsements kind of girl, but I have to say, I endorse this product. Soothing Care is a nifty gel which comes in a discreet tube. You squirt a little out, rub it on the area of interest, and it dries to a smooth powder. The powder doesn’t rub off, doesn’t smell funny, and is generally unobtrusive…but I can wear skirts! All day! Go out dancing! Even run, if I wasn’t so damn lazy.

If you do happen to suffer from chub rub, go out and grab yourself a tube. If they don’t have it in your region of the world and you ask me nicely, I might send you one. Actually, if you ask Monistat nicely they will send you a sample, too.

Anyway, the only problem with this otherwise excellent product is that…it’s made by Monistat. For those of you who don’t know what Monistat is, it’s a very popular product for relieving yeast infections. If you don’t know what a yeast infection is…er…here’s a Wikipedia article complete with gross pictures. There are a number of different formulations, leading to a wall of Monistat products which have to be waded through to find the Soothing Care, since because it has a Monistat label, stores stock it with the other Monistat stuff. This can be, well, rather awkward, depending on who you have with you. And you just know that everyone in the store is looking at you, and this being a small town, it’s not just the generic embarrassment which accompanies any sensitive purchase, it’s “hrm, which one of these people is going to tell my father I skulked in the aisle with the yeast infection creams for 20 minutes the other day.”

Once you overcome the skulking in the aisle problem, you still have to buy it from the bored pimple-bedecked clerk who will take approximately six years to painstakingly scan it and then you have to argue about whether you need a bag or not. If you’re really fortunate, something will go wrong and the clerk will blare:

“Price check for Monistat on register two!”

And then your day will be complete, and you will scuttle from the store with your tube of Soothing Care, muttering darkly to yourself and kicking over the damn pile of shopping baskets they always leave right next to the door.