this ain't livin'

Harry Potter and the Harebrained Predictions | 23May07

21 July is rapidly approaching, and I think that I may actually explode with curiosity before the book comes out. Given that spoilers are starting to fly thick and fast, I thought I would organize some of my predictions, so that I can come back in two months and mock all of them for being so dreadfully wrong. This is, of course, the point of piquing curiosity and prolonging the suspense. If I were JK Rowling, I would totally troll the Internet now and then looking for particularly humorous predictions. (I would also, of course, send me a copy of the manuscript, with the understanding that I wouldn’t tell anyone. Wait…if I was JK Rowling and I was sending myself a…anyway, you know what I mean.)

Anyway. Without further ado, my predictions for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Hagrid will die, probably early in the book. We’ve seen a theme in the last few books, with Harry losing a major figure in his life. I hate to say it, but Hagrid is a pretty excellent choice for the next in line. By eating it early on, he will set the tone for the rest of the book, which I think will be much darker.

The fact that Bill was bitten by Fenrir Greyback will become important and relevant. I’m not sure how, yet. But I suspect Rowling mutilated him for a reason beyond putting Fleur in a good light. Maybe he will develop werewolfish tendencies, or extreme strength, or good vision during the full moon. Something about it will help decide the outcome of the final battle.

Rowling has said that someone non-magical will demonstrate magical ability. I’m putting my money on Filch. I feel like she’s had a go at him in every book, setting him as sort of a comic, bumbling figure, but that he might redeem himself at the last minute. Perhaps even heroically.

Snape will turn out to be on the side of the Order, or good, or whatever you want to call it. He’s my favourite character in the books, because of the immense complexity which he has demonstrated. I really doubt that Rowling would let us down by just making him evil. Would she?

Harry is so dying. I mean, so is Voldemort. But I don’t see a little cottage in the countryside and living happily every after for Harry. No. Way. He certainly will not become Minister of Magic, nor will he teach at Hogwarts.

Arthur Weasley as Minister of Magic? Possibly? I’m going out on a limb here.

Cho Chang still has something to do. She’s extremely intelligent, and I cannot imagine her character just drifting into the background.

Neville Longbottom will distinguish himself in some way, beyond the ways in which he has already done so. His relationship with Luna will undoubtedly develop further, and I think the two will be important. Rowling has a way of building respect for the odd which I rather like.

Hermione and Ron will assist Harry with whatever he ends up doing. Because Hermione is so focused on school and Rowling values education, I doubt that the three will become dropouts. I have a sense that Hogwarts will reopen and that the three may take classes there, or receive education independently. I would be rather disappointed in Rowling for making school dropouts into heroes, myself. If the school does reopen, we will obviously be introduced to two new people, and possibly three, given that Snape is gone, Minerva McGonagall may be promoted to headmistress, and Slughorn only agreed to serve for a year.

I also suspect that we will be introduced to some new and totally sweet magical creature, but maybe I am wrong. In addition, I believe that we will have a scene for comic relief with Fred and George, who will also continue to manufacture defense against the dark arts supplies.

I’m sure that some ardent fans will passionately disagree with me, but the proof will come on 21 July…

[Harry Potter predictions]

Agitated Melon Baller | 23May07

The Phoenix New Times profiles a local dominatrix. Surprisingly, the article isn’t, well, rife with bias. It’s just sort of snuck in there on the side.

The Orange County Weekly has an interesting feature on the state of medical marijuana in California. I’ve said once and I’ve said it again: smoking, growing, and selling marijuana is a violation of federal law. The state cannot override that law, therefore people get involved with medical marijuana at their own risk. Would I like to see this changed? Well…maybe. But more on this later.

The way in which you tell your story can provide interesting clues into who you are.

A San Francisco supervisor is in the hot seat between the FBI and an investigation into whether or not he meets residency requirements.

Tea is good for you. Really good, in fact.

On Triage | 22May07

Somewhere in my ramblings across the Internet today, I came across a bitchy blog entry from someone who waited a long time to be seen at an emergency room with a broken wrist. The person went on to complain about how people with bloody faces and impaired motor function were seen first.

What is it with needing to be seen “first”? I realize that complaining about emergency rooms is practically an international sport, but I don’t really see the appeal. There seems to be a consistent lack of awareness about other people’s problems, combined with a reluctance to comprehend that there may be an overarching system going on which you don’t know about.

When I was at [famous university], I had a severe asthma attack. It was a hot day, I had been relying heavily on my inhaler, and I was still having difficulty breathing. I was able to walk into the school’s urgent care facility, where I requested medical attention. My breathing was labored and I was pale, two indicators that things were not going well for me, but I settled into a chair with a book to wait, nonetheless.

While I waited, I saw a few more people arrive and get processed, I watched people bitch about not getting seen yet, and I saw a man who had arrived before me, also having difficulty breathing, get rushed through to a treatment room. To my surprise, only a few minutes after I sat down to wait, a nurse called my name. So I got up and started to walk over to her, when a blond jockish type thrust himself in front of me.

“I was here first!”

“Er…sir, if you could sit down, someone will be with you shortly.”

“No, I was here first! You can’t let that bitch go ahead of me, she got here way after me! This isn’t fair.”

“Uhm, sir, we have a triage system here to determine who is seen first. Our priorities are based on medical urgency, rather than arrival. I’m sure that someone will be with you shortly.”

The diminutive nurse ushered me towards the door while he continued to carry on, and right after I slipped through the door, he tried to slide in after me. The tiny nurse, who couldn’t have weighed more than a buck and change, said:

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” with a sort of tired, long suffering expression.

“Why, what are you going to do?”

“Well,” she said, pushing him bodily back out into the waiting room and slamming the door after us, “this. Now then dear, let’s get you to a doctor.” I even forgave her for calling me “dear” after that performance.

I imagine that it must be frustrating to wait in an ER, which is why I highly recommend bringing a book along. The thing is that the hospitals generally prefer people not to die. This is why they see people with profusely bleeding faces before broken wrists, because they do not know how severe the bleeding is, and a head injury, which could turn very serious, needs to be treated before a broken wrist. This is also why someone who is experiencing chest pain will be seen before someone experiencing stomach pain, why someone who can’t breathe will be rushed past someone with a bleeding face.

The triage system is fairly effective. It certainly fails now and then, sometimes fantastically. But as a general rule, it works. It would work even better if people only went to emergency rooms for emergency conditions, if we had more medical professionals, and if more people had health insurance. But it’s a pretty damn good start.

If you’re one of those people who likes to bitch about how long you wait in emergency rooms…you might want to reconsider that stance. Because you never know when you might be the one who can’t breathe.

Wicked Goji | 22May07

California will officially spend more on incarcerating people than it will on higher education this year. Woah. Nelly.

Parents of disabled children will be able to represent them in court, thanks to a Supreme Court victory. Awesome.

Rules which are designed to restrict access to narcotics by drug seeking individuals also impact people who suffer from chronic pain.

Four big pharmaceutical companies want to launch a television station to hawk their drugs, taking the home shopping network to a whole new level. Am I the only one who feels a little dirty?

The LA Times has a neat feature on the survival of independent bookstores.

A Congressman is a victim of the TSA. And blogs about it. Did you know that members of Congress have blogs?

Attention, pet owners: more pet food recalls announced by the FDA.

Booda in the House | 21May07

Just in case anyone is wondering about how things are going with the Booda Clean Step, I am pleased to report that it seems to have been accepted by all with relatively little fuss. Loki has even resumed sprawling out on the bathroom floor, gazing at the litterbox with an expression of adoration and awe.

I think that encouraging them to use the box for the first few days really helped. Once they got the picture, everyone was ready to get down to business. No peeing through cracks has been observed, thank Pete. I also think that they are tracking less litter because of the ramp, which is pretty nifty. Most “non-tracking” litterboxes are actually filthy, but this one isn’t. I haven’t had to sweep since I bought it. Which is also pretty darn nifty. In addition, it looks stylish, and less like a litterbox than most litterboxes. Bonus.

There are a few drawbacks. One is that you pretty much need to scoop poop as soon as it happens. The weird shape of the litterbox means that poop left lying in the litterbox may become poop stepped in and tracked on your floor. So far, this has not happened to me, but I can see the potential. A couple of times Mr. Shadow has obviously been waiting for me to remove an offending article before entering. So yeah, you have to be on top of it. Which you should be anyway.

It also is a pain to clean when it needs to be emptied and scrubbed. I empty two to three times a week and scrub once a week. So far, I’ve emptied it once, and it was…a procedure. The wide lip makes it really hard to dump litter successfully. I ended up just upending it over the trash can outside and sweeping afterwards. I think this design is to encourage you to use their litterpan liners, which I am loathe to do, but maybe I will give one a try. I just hate the implied waste there, of purchasing a plastic bag for one use only.

I also wish that it was a smidgen larger, and I think Loki does too.

Overall, I think it was a good purchase, though. We’ll see how it endures over the coming months. I’d give it four out of five stars.

[Booda Clean Step]

Discriminating Tastes | 21May07

I have been thinking lately on how perspective changes, depending on where you are in a situation.

I was thinking particularly in the context of finding pet friendly housing, which is actually extraordinarily difficult, even in supposedly pet loving Northern California. My pet owning friends struggle to find homes and often end up in less than ideal situations because they refused to live without their pets, while my landed acquaintances put “no pets” in their advertisements. Meanwhile, families with children can cry “discrimination” if a landlord refuses to rent to them.

So what gives?

I feel like other cities, such as New York, welcome animals. There are 19,468 listings on Craigslist in Manhattan alone which welcome pets, and 2,753 in San Francisco. In Europe, pets are welcome in homes and hotels, albeit with a supplemental deposit, which is entirely reasonable. Some animals, after all, do misbehave, and it seems appropriate to safeguard the investment made in a home. But to ban pets outright seems a little cold to me. I can understand restrictions on farm animals and livestock, especially in regions with municipal codes which specifically prohibit the keeping of livestock.

Landlords say that they don’t want cats because they urinate in the house. Well…no. Poorly trained cats, or cats who are sick, urinate in the house. Most cats prefer to live in clean environments, not surrounded by their own urine. Mine, for example, get extremely irritable if I fail to clean the litterbox within seconds of a deposit. Irresponsible cat guardians have given the rest of us a bad name. Thanks guys!

Other landlords are ok with cats, but do not want dogs, because they are “destructive.” While destructive dogs certainly exist, the bulk of dogs are reasonably well behaved. Owners who cannot manage or handle their dogs might be a problem, but it seems like a bit much to insist that dogs are bound to break things. And small dogs are not less likely to destroy things than big dogs.

So what about birds? Well…no, because birds smell, you see. And they scatter seed. Fish are out, because the tank might break, spilling water all over the floor. And as for reptiles…well, I mean, heat lamps do cause fires.

I think that landlords could really benefit from reevaluating their pet policies. Pet owners tend to be more psychologically stable and calm than non-pet owners, for example. And loving, responsible pet owners will take great care of a home. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a supplemental pet deposit, or to ask for pet references. Surely, getting extensive references would also help the landlord learn more about the prospective tenant.

Especially in the modern era, where pets are part of the family, it’s a little bit galling that destructive, ill behaved children will not bar someone from renting, but an elderly cat will. Pet owners compound the problem by not coming down hard on people who cannot train their animals. This is why I think that pet references could be an excellent idea, and one which would benefit all parties. Landlords can get an assurance that pets are well behaved, prospective tenants can rent with their pets, and everybody wins. It might also promote animal welfare, especially if landlords ask for a reference from the pet’s regular veterinarian.

Perhaps this is already occurring in some parts of the world, unbeknownst to me. If so, I want to know about it.

[renting with pets]

Florid Pine | 21May07

The Chronicle has an interesting opinion piece on luxury spending.

Death of a farmers market awfully close to the headquarters of Slow Food. Hrm. Interesting.

After being denied access to the media and forced into solitary confinement, a prisoner sued the prison system, claiming that his first and eighth amendment rights were violated. He won.

Landscaping for the long term with native plants at Pepperdine.

Jacques Chirac may get to spend some time in jail now that he no longer has Presidential immunity.

Stately Cockatoo | 20May07

Pet therapy takes off at UCSF Children’s Hospital.

Toothpaste in Panama is contaminated with diethylene glycol which is believed to be of Chinese origin. Is nothing sacred?

More details on the process behind the discovery of treasure, which is a refined science.

A campaign in Japan aims to bring the kimono back. Three guesses as to what I’m wearing right now.

A high school student is not being allowed to walk at graduation because of her facial piercings. While I object to this sort of thing on general principle, it’s generally irritating that she’s had the piercings in all year, and no one has said anything about a dress code violation. You can read this interview at BME if you want to learn more about lobbying efforts for the rights of modified people.

Jail in some parts of the world can get rather perilous.

Hot Fuzz | 20May07

If you see no other movie this year, see Hot Fuzz.

It may have been the best movie of my year. I laughed continuously for two hours, probably deeply upsetting other theatre patrons. It was, in a word, brilliant. I’ve always been a fan of British comedy, of course, but…oh, God. Just go see it. Swans, clergymen packing heat, insane neighborhood associations…

…which makes me wonder about the Mendocino Historical Review Board, let me tell you.

I went with a friend who swore up and down all through dinner that it was the best movie ever, and then fretted that I wouldn’t love it nearly as much as she did. However, her movie advice proved true. I needed, so very much, to laugh for two hours and forget about everything else that’s going on. So much that I might even do it again tomorrow, no matinee prices on Sundays be damned. My sweet lord.

Wandering through the City afterwards, we chortled continuously, garnering strange looks from the drunk people staggering in the streets. Somehow, though, it just didn’t matter, as we said “and then that part where, yeah, oh God, that was so funny.” I have a feeling I’ll be spending all of Sunday smirking.

Sour Times | 19May07

Oh, boo hoo.

The Times today has an article on the “tyranny” of the second home which is really a hoot for a lower class slob to read, let me tell you. Pop on over, read it, and tell me if you are as amused as I am.

It’s doubling entertaining since one of the other leading articles is about the abundance of easy credit in the United States and how large numbers of Americans are eating it in a major way.

Sometimes, the Times feels like it is caught in an identity crisis. On the one hand, we have a strong, balanced article talking about predatory lending and profiling ordinary people who are struggling with their debt. On the other we have…a complete whiny upper class fluff piece, bemoaning how “difficult” it is to have a second home. So, the people who read and empathize with the first article will likely just be infuriated by the other, and the people who get the second article will deride the first. Why don’t you just go buy yourself some more money?

The article about second homes bothered me on a number of levels. Perhaps it’s because I’m from an area rife with second homes. (And I’ve been longing to try and spearhead a minimum occupancy movement, because a lot of those homes are occupied for only a few weekends a year.) I don’t get the second home thing. I would be stoked to own one house. I don’t really see how it enhances your social status to consume constantly. Let alone whine about your consumption. If you don’t want a second home, than don’t own one. But for Pete’s sake, don’t whine to the newspaper of record about it so that they can write an insipid, embarrassing, idiotic article on it. Tracia Rozhon really ought to be ashamed of having her name on this completely useless article.

People who own second homes in areas they are not familiar with constantly whine about everything in the area. It’s like they want the place to never advance, for the locals to disappear, for everything unsightly to be swept away. Well, I hate to inform people of this…but other people live there. Other people need electricity, or a source of income, or places to live, and not everyone can afford to built mansions with 33 foot ceilings and marble floors. Indeed, the presence of large numbers of second homes is actually incredibly harmful for the local population, which is something that I didn’t see discussed at all in the article. It’s all about how hard life is for the interlopers, not for the struggles that the local population endures.

Oh, the woes of the upper classes. Why would the Times think that this article has any interest to anyone? I am so very much not interested in hearing about how hard life is when you have too much money. This country has a skyrocketing debt rate, ever higher numbers of lower classes, a disappearing middle class, insane foreign policy, and no sense of perspective. Why not do an article about people who squat vacation houses, or how much vacation homes hurt the local population?

I don’t have a problem with people with money, per say. I just don’t want to hear about it, because I have my own problems to deal with. Somehow, I doubt that anyone else would find my problems very interesting, which is why you won’t be reading a feature article about them in the Times. Somehow, though, I suspect that more of the American population, including the readers of the Times, could find something in common with my own woes.

Sometimes, the disconnect in American society really does floor me.