Harry Potter and the Harebrained Predictions

21 July is rapidly approaching, and I think that I may actually explode with curiosity before the book comes out. Given that spoilers are starting to fly thick and fast, I thought I would organize some of my predictions, so that I can come back in two months and mock all of them for being so dreadfully wrong. This is, of course, the point of piquing curiosity and prolonging the suspense. If I were JK Rowling, I would totally troll the Internet now and then looking for particularly humorous predictions. (I would also, of course, send me a copy of the manuscript, with the understanding that I wouldn’t tell anyone. Wait…if I was JK Rowling and I was sending myself a…anyway, you know what I mean.)

Anyway. Without further ado, my predictions for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Hagrid will die, probably early in the book. We’ve seen a theme in the last few books, with Harry losing a major figure in his life. I hate to say it, but Hagrid is a pretty excellent choice for the next in line. By eating it early on, he will set the tone for the rest of the book, which I think will be much darker.

The fact that Bill was bitten by Fenrir Greyback will become important and relevant. I’m not sure how, yet. But I suspect Rowling mutilated him for a reason beyond putting Fleur in a good light. Maybe he will develop werewolfish tendencies, or extreme strength, or good vision during the full moon. Something about it will help decide the outcome of the final battle.

Rowling has said that someone non-magical will demonstrate magical ability. I’m putting my money on Filch. I feel like she’s had a go at him in every book, setting him as sort of a comic, bumbling figure, but that he might redeem himself at the last minute. Perhaps even heroically.

Snape will turn out to be on the side of the Order, or good, or whatever you want to call it. He’s my favourite character in the books, because of the immense complexity which he has demonstrated. I really doubt that Rowling would let us down by just making him evil. Would she?

Harry is so dying. I mean, so is Voldemort. But I don’t see a little cottage in the countryside and living happily every after for Harry. No. Way. He certainly will not become Minister of Magic, nor will he teach at Hogwarts.

Arthur Weasley as Minister of Magic? Possibly? I’m going out on a limb here.

Cho Chang still has something to do. She’s extremely intelligent, and I cannot imagine her character just drifting into the background.

Neville Longbottom will distinguish himself in some way, beyond the ways in which he has already done so. His relationship with Luna will undoubtedly develop further, and I think the two will be important. Rowling has a way of building respect for the odd which I rather like.

Hermione and Ron will assist Harry with whatever he ends up doing. Because Hermione is so focused on school and Rowling values education, I doubt that the three will become dropouts. I have a sense that Hogwarts will reopen and that the three may take classes there, or receive education independently. I would be rather disappointed in Rowling for making school dropouts into heroes, myself. If the school does reopen, we will obviously be introduced to two new people, and possibly three, given that Snape is gone, Minerva McGonagall may be promoted to headmistress, and Slughorn only agreed to serve for a year.

I also suspect that we will be introduced to some new and totally sweet magical creature, but maybe I am wrong. In addition, I believe that we will have a scene for comic relief with Fred and George, who will also continue to manufacture defense against the dark arts supplies.

I’m sure that some ardent fans will passionately disagree with me, but the proof will come on 21 July…

[Harry Potter predictions]