As a side note, I really wish people would not read library books while smoking, applying cologne, eating stinky food, examining dead bodies, vomiting, urinating, or bleeding, because I can smell/see many substances related to these activities on an alarming number of library books.

In college I vomited all over a library copy of the Brahms Clarinet Sonata in E-Flat. By ‘all over’ I mean the book was completely covered with the stuff. The book had a cardboard type of cover around it, though, and I had it checked out for 8 months until the end of the year, by which time the stink was gone and the cardboard simply looked crusty and yellowed from age. At the time this story was no secret, and was often described as legendary, but I wonder if anyone from school remembers it now.