Jobs I Have Had

The Theatre

Throughout high school, I worked for a theatre doing an assortment of things, along with several of my friends. I stage managed several productions, ran the box office staff, managed a busy summer repertory, and generally tried to keep things from getting insane. Many adventures were had. It was also extraordinarily difficult to be an authority figure when I hadn’t even graduated from high school, and I had a few unpleasant experiences with people who were not able to handle that.

The Other Theatre

I stage managed a single production for our rival during one of the more insane summers of my life. You will see that this was only the first instance of two timing in my checkered employment history.

Mail Thrower

While I was attending [expensive East Coast College], I worked in a mail room, getting up every morning at the crack of dawn to sort mail and then deliver it to various campus offices. Have you ever dragged a mail cart through the snow? In pajamas? Because I have.

Box Office Manager

I couldn’t keep my fingers out of the theatre pie, so I managed the box office of the college while I was there as well. It was a mellow job, but unfortunately it also required being trapped in a box office for three hours every Friday and Saturday, instead of being out in the world enjoying myself.


I spent an entire summer packaging hand made letterpress stationary in a basement surrounded by paper products, listening to the country station because the senior person there liked country music. Did I mention that it was awful?

Print Shop Office Staff

Luckily, the company I worked for owned a separate print shop, and their office person was sick a lot. It also happened to be down the street from the Tin Palace, so I loved working there as a fill in person.


A friend of mine on disability got money from the state to pay for a care provider, so I cleaned her house for her and did assorted errands. It’s a little weird working for your friends in that way, but we had a lot of fun. At one point, I posted a picture of myself looking savage over the fridge, to try and intimidate them into doing their dishes. Needless to say, it didn’t work.

Counter Person at a Bakery

The same summer I worked as a maid, I also worked the opening shift in a bakery, which involved being at work at six in the morning. I would stumble in after a night of debauchery (often with the friend above) and set out the pastries, get the drinks going, and try not to fall asleep. The Hispanic kitchen staff who did all the baking would just be eating their breakfast and getting ready to leave…I considered it a mark of honor when they finally started inviting me to sit down and eat with them.

Bookstore Clerk

I worked for a large independent Northern California bookstore. It was an awesome job, to be surrounded by books and working with fun people. I worked the counter, wandered the floor, worked in shipping, and input new stock into the system. I loved that job. Unfortunately, they hired someone I hated so much that I had to quit.

Ice Cream Maker

So I started making ice cream instead. Also a fun job. And contrary to popular belief, being surrounded by ice cream all day does not make you want to stop eating it. I also now know more about ice cream, dairy, and cream politics than I ever wanted to.

Video Store Clerk

Everyone has to do it at some point in their life. Especially if you want to maintain hipster street cred.

The Spa

I worked counter at a mellow, laid back, awesome spa for quite a while until I got offered a full time position somewhere else. I love working for spas. Everything is calm and mellow and excellent, and I can sauna and hot tub as much as I want. Big discount on massage doesn’t hurt, either.

The Other Spa

I picked up another spa job at a more upscale place, and for some time was working at both. Both were totally chill with it, which was amazing. This one offered me full time with better hours, so I went for it. I enjoyed it until I got bored, which happens to me with a lot of jobs.

The Raw Food People

So I worked in the office of a raw food culinary school. Weird, people. Weird. I stuck out in there like a snake in suspenders.

Freelance Writer

Have I mentioned that I love my job? It allows me to sit around in pajamas all day with a cat on my lap, writing inane commentary for you people instead of actually working.