I was having a complicated dream this morning about K and her mother bailing me out of jail, and her mother had gotten a perm, which I must say was an interesting choice, but it actually looked rather nice. At any rate, some part of the dream involved me needing to read something on the radio, and I kept flubbing it and the technician, who appeared to be Sylvester Stallone, was looking rather frustrated. He kept ringing a bell.

Which, I realized after a moment, was actually someone ringing our doorbell.

No, I am by no means slothful, but I do sleep until ten or so, usually. The fact that I was still asleep suggested that it was earlier than ten, and I wondered who could be ringing the door. None of our friends would be up this early, it was too early for the postman, and a repair man was due at ten, but he has a key. I know this because the last time a repair man showed up, they forgot to call us, and he walked in on three attractive women piled up asleep on the couch in camisoles and panties. So I decided to stick with my usual policy of not answering the door when I’ve been woken up, and I burrowed deeper into the covers.

The bell rang again, and Loki started to growl. I sympathized: I was starting to get seriously annoyed myself, and when the pounding began, I resigned myself to getting up and dug a robe out of the closet so that I could answer the door.

Staggering blearily down the stairs, I noticed that the sun seemed low in the sky, indeed.

I unlocked the door, not bothering to check through the spyhole. Honestly, I never bother to check, and will probably being ended up pelted with rotten fruit some day as a result.

There on the doorstep was my long lost love, Yuri.

(Our heater works now, by the way.)

“Ah,” I said.

“Yes,” he replied.

“It must be, er, later than I thought.”

“It is nine,” he said, beaming.

“Ah,” and I allowed the door to swing open the rest of the way.

“Ah! Is lady’s robe! Yes!”

“Ah.”

I drifted into the kitchen to make tea while Yuri fought valiantly with the bicycles in the laundry room, eventually ending up in a tangled pile of gears.

“Er, you can move the bicycles out, I suppose.”

The bicycles were wheeled out and leaned on the kitchen table while Yuri prodded at our fusebox.

“Oh, yes. Ow!”

Lights began to flicker on and off, and I paused from my tea contemplation with avid interest.

“Ooooh.”

He emerged from the laundry room, dusting his hands.

“I turn power off now, ok?”

“Yeah.”

He charged out the door, rocketing around the side of the house and vanishing from sight. After a moment, the fridge sighed and clicked off, and he came pounding round the other side of the house and back into the laundry room, where he fell upon the fuse box like a starving hippo confronted with a bowl full of apples. Ominous crunching and ripping noises emanated from the laundry room, and I couldn’t see what was going on because he closed the door, perhaps for privacy.

I sipped idly at my orange pekoe and read a few more pages of Things Fall Apart.

“Aha!”

Silence.

He coyly emerged from the laundry room and sidled out the door to turn the power back on.

“Yes! Now I show you what I find.”

“Yes,” I said, wondering if I would be forced to get up for this.

A small pile of scorched electrical parts landed on the table, perilously close to my half mango and lime.

“You see, is burned! Here, and here, here, here, here again, and over here. I think is problem.”

“Yes, that will do it.”

“Ah.”

“Well, er, hopefully that will take care of the problem. Thank you?”

“Yes.”

And Yuri bounded forth into the morning, hopping into his golden Toyota and questing on to his next urgent maintenance task.

Global warming hurts Kenyan farmers…in a surprising way. Link via the Ethicurean.

UPS is San Francisco’s number one parking violator…which is surprising, because I never see double parked delivery vans getting tickets, ever.

British children do not know where their animal products come from. And apparently British eggs have lions and egg timers on them, so that they can have perfect soft boiled eggs. I wonder how American children would score on the same test?

Inspired by “How Much is Inside,” a Cockeyed tradition…

Shrimp are notorious for being difficult to buy sustainably and ethically. A marine educator weighs in with some ways to select shrimp that is good and good for the earth.

A story, about a chicken. I could have told you that chickens develop unique, wonderful, and fun personalities…but I’m not a columnist for Slate, so no one listens.

Terrorism, in real time.

My friend Danial made a movie about what happens after a zombie uprising. You can watch it here, and I ask you to keep in mind that he developed the concept and shot the film in five hours, which is a pretty impressive feat. Some of his reviewers were a little more harsh than they needed to be, I think.

The film is part of a competition called “On the Lot,” which is going to pit 16 film makers against each other, reality TV style. I hope he makes it in…it would be neat to see Danial’s work develop!

The film certainly has some flaws: he does, for example, struggle with composition in the monologue scenes, and the actor’s eyes do sort of disappear at a couple of points. You could, however, view this as an intentionally dehumanizing choice, as the main character becomes less and less human the longer the conversation goes on. Yes, a large pole does enter the scene towards the end…and it is highly distracting, but…perhaps it serves some greater yellow metaphor, which I missed entirely.

I also liked how Danial made the best of a bad scene with his lighting. The movie is dark and gloomy, because it is about a dark and gloomy subject, but he used changes in lighting levels to highlight, as it were, certain important aspects of the film. The camera work is pretty steady and crisp, and if you view the peculiar compositional choices as intentional, I think that you will find the movie makes a lot more sense to you, falling together in a new way. Think outside the box—literally.

He also used music in a very…interesting way. I dig it.

It is interesting to theorize about what life might be like if zombies rose and took over: somehow, I suspect it would be more like this film than like the Hollywood extravaganzas with guns blazing and hard eyed heroes.

Danial describes the movie as being about a man in a conversation with another man, but it seems more like a conversation with God. Perhaps it’s the deep, echoing voice, or the fact that we do not see the actor’s conversation partner until the end…but it seems like a quiet respite, a moment of consideration about what is happening in his world. Perhaps the conversation partner is God, in the guise of a zombie. Or the Devil?

One of the critics pointed out that the actor appears to be smiling, especially in the second half of the film, which could be a break of character or an enrichment, depending on how much you want to read into the film. The character seems to be growing more and more unhinged as the conversation progresses…perhaps the conversation is the first one he has had in years, and the first time he has even stopped to consider the sort of person he is turning into.

I think it’s an excellent beginning, a stark little film that reduces us to the sum of our parts.

[Wayward Soul]
[On the Lot]

Iraq has been kicking our ass…with home made bombs?

OpenCongress is an excellent project which all Americans should be reading daily, along with the rest of their news. It compiles government data along with general news and, yes, blog coverage to provide an accurate picture of what’s really going on in Congress on any given day.

Abortion laws in Europe, just in case you wanted a handy color coded compendium. I thought it might influence your next vacation spot.

Printable cold sores, for those ubiquitous beauty ads.

The Killing Fields will stay, for now, apparently. I agree that it’s a bit of a moral quandary: one the one hand, souls deserve rest. On the other, it is important that we never forget the consequences of civil war. Many nations around the world have memorials like this, and I think they are a good thing.

Knitters can be badasses too!

According to this earth shattering study, sexualisation in culture is harmful for young women. Released under the auspices of the American Psychological Association, the study claims that sexual images in film, advertisements, video games, and other media are harming girls. I really cannot imagine where they get this impression.

As my readers know, I am not a terribly prudish person, and it takes a fair amount to offend me, sexually. But even I have been disturbed by the recent trend of dressing young girls like streetwalkers. Not just underage girls, like 14-17 years old, although I find that a bit unnerving, but really, really young girls: the other day, I saw an eight year old dressed in clothing I wouldn’t be caught dead in…right along with her slutty mommy figure.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a slut, or with having open sexual practices. But I think this is something that could be more appropriately explored at an older age. I am uncomfortable with the sexualisation of young girls because to me, they’re just that: young girls. Yes, there was an era in human history when very young women were married to older men, raising families, and running households…but I don’t think that needs to be the case today. Most young humans are not at a stage of development where sexual activity is appropriate when they are eight, or nine, or ten…and it is especially inappropriate with someone who is much older.

I am rather prudish, I realize, about May/December romance. When I see a 17 year old and a 27 year old, I don’t think ah, love, I think exploitation! child abuse! danger! danger!. I think many others think along these lines as well, because as a culture, we have agreed that young women and men should be allowed to grow up and explore themselves, not be forced into a socially dictated behaviour, which is why it deeply saddens me to see young women and girls tarting themselves up to meet social expectations. Young girls, especially, are prey to these sorts of relationships because they have been taught by society that they are sex objects, not people with individual wishes, dreams, hopes, and fears.

And not just tarting themselves up with designer clothing…starving their bodies, denying their natural intelligence, and being frustrated by the wonderful and amazing people that they are. Not everyone can be a supermodel, it’s true: but not everyone should be. People are not sex objects, and young women should not feel like they are sex objects. As a media culture, we owe it to our children to raise them more neutrally, but as individuals we should also be taking steps to encourage the growth and development of the people around us, showing them through actions that they do not need to be sex dolls, rather than just parroting words that seem meaningless when surrounded with media that tells them otherwise. It’s fucked up that women use their sexuality to get attention, and that society encourages this, because it undermines our position as, you know, humans.

We cannot ban sexualised advertising, nor should we, because it sets a dangerous precedent…but we can tell people that they are appreciated for who they are. We can date people that we find attractive, whether or not our friends agree with us. We can seek out things that we find beautiful, and bring them back to show the rest of the group, expanding everyone’s horizons. We can reject social norms of beauty and sexbotdom, and perhaps some day I will see eight years exploring chemistry, not buying “slut” thongs.

A neat article in Seven Days, talking about the impact that IBM has on a community it operates a large plant in. It includes a lot of positive benefits, and I think should be required reading for small communities thinking about hosting a major corporation.

Predatory lending has penetrated all aspects of our society, but I think that this type is one of the worst kinds, since it makes no bones about targeting people of low income. Please, people, don’t use payroll advance loans, or accept loans against an anticipated tax refund. Many people are eligible to file taxes online for free, using pretty fool proof systems, and you do not need to pay someone to prepare your taxes. Use the IRS to find a list of companies that do free e-file.

Let’s just assume that hurricanes will wreak havoc in the Caribbean, shall we?

Are the yuppies taking over the traditionally gay Castro, and what kind of impact will this have on San Francisco? We’re a pretty fruity city…I’m not sure we want to lose that.

PG&E is actually trying to help customers? That’s crazy talk…and this might be a rough year for Mendo vintages, unless you like frost wines!

Kiri Davis decided to replicate a study from the 1950s for her high school film project. The results are interesting…and very sad.

Haven’t read a book? Fake it!

The caste system is alive and well in India, unfortunately.

Many Iraq veterans are homeless, trapped in the same spiral of rising cost of living that destroys many youth as well. They return from the war without skills marketable in the civilian world, and find themselves unable to support their families. Glad to see that the military takes care of its own.

A ruckus at a sorority is attracting national attention…as well it should be, if the national chapter really did ask all of the overweight, non-white members of the sorority to leave. I am very proud of the women who resigned in protest, because that sort of thing really should not be tolerated.

A rapist sent a letter of atonement…apparently not understanding that the only atonement rape victims wants to see is their attacker in jail. How creepy and wierd that must have been for the victim…and how excellent that she reported it so that he could be punished.

Beavers in New York. Neato. I’m talking about the wild animal, perverts.

School lunch…there’s a reason kids hate it, and it’s not just because it’s uncool.

The impact of global warming can be seen already, as detailed in this profile of a Nobel Prize nominee. The article is mainly about Sheila Watt-Cloutier’s life, but it also touches briefly on what it’s like to live in the Arctic and deal with melting permafrost, falling through thin ice, and watching your entire way of life disappear from underneath your feet. She may not be as well known as Al Gore, but she is trying to raise awareness about global warming on a much more immediate basis, and perhaps save the world while preserving a way of life.

Maybe you don’t believe in global warming. That’s fine. But the fact is that global weather is changing, whether naturally or otherwise, and I think everyone can aknowledge this. I personally believe that the rate of climate change has been greatly accelerated by human activities, but even if I didn’t believe that, I would still believe that something is happening, because the evidence is all around us. The planet is getting warmer. The ice is melting. Whether or not we can do anything about it is another question…but I suspect that at this rate, the changes are only going to get more and more drastic.

I was thinking earlier this week about endangered animals, who are listed as at risk when their wild populations are no longer sustainable. Most endangered animals get that way through hunting and habitat destruction. With the range of habitable land for wild animals rapidly decreasing, we are facing a world without many iconic animals like bears, tigers, gorillas, and other neat creatures, which is kind of sad.

But what happens when a human population is endangered?

Obviously, as a species, we are going to survive…we don’t seem to have any trouble reproducing. But we are living a way of life that destroys a lot of indigenous cultures, and I find that rather disturbing. People who have established a way of life and lived it for thousands of years are seeing their lives change, radically, because of actions undertaken by others. Especially in the west, native cultures don’t seem to be valued, really, because we invest a lot of time and energy in converting them to the way of righteousness, apparently found in television, packaged food, and spending money.

How long will it be before we talk about indigenous culture in the past tense, and send our children to museums to study it, since there are no living examples? Will future historians write about this period with an air of nostalgia and sadness for the destruction we wrought, or use it as an example of how people can motivate themselves to save something important? I suppose only time will yield the answer to this question…time and people like Watt-Cloutier, who is fighting very hard to save something that may already be lost.

Sound, illustrated with open flame. Kind of hard to explain, but really, really neat.

You’re never too young to think green…or to convert your barn to a biodiesel processing centre, apparently.

Yeah…uhm, about those ships getting ready to attack Iran.

Warren Ellis goes into Second Life so that you don’t have to.

How to handle a chlorine bomb. Just, you know, in case.

Pole dancing parties? Is this like strip aerobics? Do not click on that link if you have a problem with seeing a 40 year old surburban housewife who has never worked a day in her fucking life twirling around a stripper pole in her living room. I have a problem with the idea, which is why I’m inflicting it on your in the first place.

According to the BBC, the United States feels especially vulnerable to attack, perhaps because we are incapable of not pissing the entire planet off. But should we be allowed to put missile defense systems in other nations to protect ourselves?

This weirds me out on a lot of levels. The idea of breeding a house cat to look like a tiger seems a bit odd to me, but I understand the motivation. Tigers are majestic and beautiful, but they do not make practical house pets: why not create a safe and humane alternative in the form of an actual domesticated cat…that looks like a tiger?

After all, it is said that God created the cat so that man might caress the tiger, right?

As you can see from the images in the article, these Toygers do not look like tigers. The upright, triangular ears of a housecat destroy the image, even if the coat looks right. It makes me curious to know if the breeder is going to attempt to breed kittens with the classic rounded ears of a tiger…or just perform bilateral pinnectomies on them all to get the right shape. Physically modifying animals through surgery to meet our ideals is a practice with a long history, after all.

The hair of the Toyger is too long and silky…tigers have dense, short hair over muscular bodies which have stocky legs to allow them to run quickly and smoothly through their natural environments. Of course, tigers also have giant teeth and claws, the better to eat you with, my dear, along with a ruff of hair around the face which the Toygers lack.

And, uh, what happens to the cats that do not meet breed standard? Lots of times, these animals are abandoned or euthanized because they do not meet expectations. Sometimes they are sold to collectors, as long as the collectors agree not to breed them, because that might “taint” the breed, which is an artificial construct in and of itself.

What troubles me about the Toyger is not whether or not it resembles a miniature tiger. What bothers me is the idea of creating yet another specialized breed in a country that kills four million dogs and cats every year in animal shelters because they do not have homes.

Four. Million.

There are 70 million stray dogs and cats in the United States who lack medical care and shelter, and live short, miserable lives.

30 million dogs and cats in the United States every year die from cruelty, neglect, and exploitation. (Not including lab animals.)

So yeah, let’s breed yet another fad animal, while ignoring the plight of millions of homeless ones. That sounds like a really good fucking call.

“There are so many cats out there that are being put to sleep because of overpopulation. Don’t create more designer species—go to the pound and save a life!”

So says New York City vet Arnold Plotnick, and he’s absolutely right. Toygers do not “preserve the essence of wildness,” captive breeding programs trying to save tigers do. Wild cats have a right to exist, and breeding miniaturized versions of them should not be condoned: why not invest the money spent breeding fad animals on contributing to programs that are trying to save our wild heritage?

Spay and neuter your pets. Don’t breed them. Don’t encourage your friends to breed, either. Reject breeding as a heinous and disgusting them, and invest the money you were going to spend on a Persian in your local animal shelter, or a wildlife fund. Please.

In the time that it took you to read this, 35 unwanted animals were murdered in animal shelters.

[Toyger]