An entry from Mr Bell, head of quality control.
Every weekday, we get up around seven thanks to the ambient noise around here. Some members of the house manage to sleep in, but most of us trundle out to the living room for tea, cat food, and yoghurt, depending on species (although there is some overlap). In an ideal situation, one can get under the human’s feet while it’s brewing tea, which is highly entertaining for all.
Then, it’s time to get to work. It’s important to have a clear, uncluttered workspace so that you can focus on your work.
Will you get this oaf off my desk, please? A giant fuzzy butt counts as a “cluttered workspace,” and I just can’t function in this environment. You can’t expect high quality writing typed through an ass.
Also will someone please turn on WinAmp?
Thank you. Now I can get some actual bloody work done around here.
There’s so much to write about, it’s hard to know where to begin. Maybe I’ll talk about the 7:45 am jackhammering going on across the street. I’m pretty sure the Municipal Code bans noise before 8am.
Let me just check this reference.
Damnit, I’m wrong. It’s 7am. God help them if they jackhammer at 6:59, by gum.
But I did find out that it’s: “…unlawful for any person to drop or place upon the floor of any public building, upon the steps thereof or upon the sidewalks of any public street within the limits of the city, any fruit, vegetable or the peel of any fruit or vegetable.”
I am so nailing the Farmer’s Market.
Can’t you see I am extremely busy? You think this site writes itself?
Ok, you know what? I give up. This is me, giving up. Clearly no one’s going to get anything done around here. I’m better have the human post some stupid thing about birth control or the environment or some damn thing since we can’t generate any actual content.